Wednesday, December 2, 2009

backpacks, babies and a pair of black men

I have no idea why I haven't written about this before, because I've had the page bookmarked for months.

Designer Bruxe, based out of Montreal, had a line of backpacks around for at least a few months, and in their online store that was pretty much all they had at the time. Now, they've got bags, backpacks, hats, shirts, and fanny packs. All that is great but the backpacks are all I want to talk about. I just desire them so badly.

Check it out. Shiny with like fifty pockets. You could fit approximately seven post-natal abortions in that bag, with a little work. And it comes in Cement and Blue to match whatever race your babies might have once been before they were smushed.

Err... Am I being too grim? And would seven different babies just make the colour brown? They don't have a bag to match that but you could try the black...

Match one of those packs with a sick leather jacket or a flashy windbreaker and you've got a winning outfit.

This has nothing to do with the post. It is here to demonstrate how much fucking cooler Kid Cudi is from average hip hop artists (and yes that is Busta Rhymes)

Monday, November 30, 2009

cope and deal

How have I not gotten sick of For The Fallen Dreams yet? I have listened to them so much lately and still they remain on my speakers. Usually, bands get played a few times and then I forget about them but fuck, they're just too good.

What the fuck is wrong with those kids?

Nightmares (ft. Jeremy McKinnon of A Gay to Remember [sic]) is SO sick. The breakdowns at the start and finish are so brutal that I don't even mind the guest vocals in the catchy chorus. The slow solo (does that have a different name? I don't know) during In Sincerity is magnificent. And Two Twenty Two is just killer, start to finish. And those are only off their new album, Relentless. Their older release, Changes is just as sick but not as catchy.
[Editor's Note: if you don't like metalcore, listen to this band anyway. If you still don't like metalcore after checking out the songs on their Myspace, I bid you good day. Everyone has their own tastes and I'm cool with you not sharing all of mine.]

What a sweet girl, kissing a luchador. Luchas need love too!

On a completely different note (Hah. Get it? Because this post is about music?), check out Letting Up Despite Great Faults. They're really spacey electro/shoegaze from L.A. They sound kind of like The Postal Service but way more contemporary. Maybe even a little futuristic. You know, because in the future everyone will sound like they're fucked up on Prozac and Xanex. Except the synths. They're just drunk.

Friday, November 27, 2009

older norweigan men with bad skin

Today, I experienced something wonderful:

It is everything I have ever wanted. Nazis, zombies, babe (yes, only one) and some movie jokes. And lots, lots of campy dialogue. The characters barely give a shit about each other and it adds to the hilarity. There's a part where one of the characters dies and the 'witty' guy (c'mon, there's always one who makes shitty jokes at sweet/awful times) who says "I told you we should have gone to the beach."

And people fuck in an outhouse.

Oh yeah, right after he wiped his ass, she comes in and starts performing a blowjob upon his finger. The big finger. You know, the one you stick in the paper towel to wipe with. Sweet.

Disclaimer: I watched this movie with English dubbing and the cheesy voices definitely add to the overall jokeitude (again, I just made up a word) of the movie. I suggest it.

This is not a serious movie. It is a movie where zombies pop out of the snow, a man gets his penis bitten, the aforementioned outhouse-sex scene, and a McGuffin that is stolen from those big pirate movies with the hot babe in the bodice. It is totally worth your 88+ minutes. Watch it and laugh with me. Even at the sad part.

And I left out the very best part so now you have to watch it because I just added a poo-finger's worth of suspense to your head.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

it's my birthday

Like the title says, it's my birthday. I am 20. If you didn't know this it's because we aren't real life friends and in that case you should let me know you read this by leaving a comment!

I'd like to start off this post with these sexy babes I found on eBay:

Only $135.71 Canadian! And it's my birthday! ... Get it?

Those are so tasty.


You may have seen the trailer for this movie, or maybe saw a different cover for it in your local athenaeum or bookstore. Two things. ONE: Ignore the trailer for the film. The book is NOT full of explosions and action sequences. In fact, I bet the movie will be long and drawn out but in a beautiful bleak way. TWO: Read the book before you watch the movie. It almost made me cry (goodbye 'tough guy cred'...).

I am so stoked for this movie it is unbelievable. I also hope that post-nuclear becomes a fashion trend. But not the lame Industrial gas-mask-y way. More like rags and dirt and big scruffy beards and sunken eyes filled with desperation. And shopping carts.

Yes. Oh my yes, please.

That is all.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Returning Glamour

Fuck you and your moustache, buddy.

Okay, fine. You've won me back. Now just hire me already.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

bodily fluids

American Apparel just revealed some new pants or something. They are the original "Stretch Twill Slim Slack Lite" with some tie dye bullshit on them. Check it out:

Moon Beam/Almost Black"

Aren't these just fucking great? I have always wanted to look like I received a bountiful amount of semen on my pants and rubbed it up and down until it was worn into the ridges of my pants. It's just so fucking chic and "like I give a fuck" inspiring.

Oh and look! They come in shit-smeared too! Fantastic!

And according to the site, they come in Fluorescent Yellow / Black as well! I do love piss colours. [/sarcasm]

Fuck those. But you know what? In three months, I'll regret not owning a pair. Fuck my "trendaist" life. And yes, I did just make up a word. Creative license.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009



Thanks to strikegently for this amazing link.

This shit is amazing. You can analyze it yourself because everyone gets different meanings from film but maybe in a few days I'll post what I think about it.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Cheer Up!

Why do scientists always have to wear running shoes and shit clothes. Maybe if they looked a little cooler, there would be more people getting into science instead of 'economics.'

Look at this old guy wearing running shoes while measuring a python:

I mean, yeah he is old but still. Have a little fun with your wardrobe. Scientists can be eccentric if they want.

Like Jeremy Irons.

(seen here with a babe)

He's old and still totally having fun with what he wears. Once you have wrinkles on your face, people automatically respect you at least a little bit so it doesn't matter what the fuck you wear, as long as it's clothing and not dresses or garbage.

Anyway, scientists: stop taking yourselves so seriously and maybe you'll have more fun discovering protozoids or quasarks or whatever you do.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Nick Cave and the Listening List

I just finished this book:

and I must say... Nick Cave, good on you.

It is fucking amazing. Hilarious, touching. But fuck book reviews. They never tell you the real important things. Like what you should listen to while reading this shit. And yeah, you could go all Nick Cave fan-y because it suits it and all but why so overboard? Instead, I have compiled a listening list that accompanies the book so well (in my ears). The albums contain the same ups and downs and depression and intrigue and amazingness that the novel does. If you listen to the shitty fucking ass dick radio while reading this novel, I will slay you. If you listen to Beyonce while reading this novel, you will feel a sort of split being that only schizos and recently separated Siamese twins understand.

Brief Synopsis:
Drunk man likes to fuck. Drunk man has son. Drunk man has wife. Drunk man's wife dies (NO SPOILERS HERE BITCH). Drunk man is left with son to look after as well as himself. Nine year-old son is a FOIL of the drunk. Drunk is also a door to door salesman. READ THIS SHIT.


Godspeed You! Black Emperor
Yanqui U.X.O.

Heart of Weakness

I Would Set Myself On Fire For You
Believes In Patterns

Addendum: Obviously, you're allowed to listen to your own shit while reading this book as well. Just make sure it's either introspective, retrospective, dark, brooding, sadistic, masochistic, misogynistic, or generally plain mean. And if any of the files don't work in the .rar's I've given you bitches, leave a fucking comment for once and I'll fix it. Fuck it, leave a fucking comment for once and I'll suck your god damn dick.


Monday, September 7, 2009

skramz is the dumbest name ever

What's up. I feel like metaphysical gum on your shoe. Check out these bands:


I'm pretty terrible at describing sounds so... This band is fucking amazing. They don't stick to the conventions of any single genre (i.e. post-hardcore, math rock, screamo). They are an orgy of styles and it's so beautiful it makes me think of epic things like a volcano exploding (which such an event is what they are named after, incidentally).



More orchestral sounds, emotional as a maelstrom or your girlfriend breaking up with you and finding out afterward that she fucked another guy at the party you passed out at. This shit is heavvvvyyy and inspired.



Not gonna lie, I found out about this band last night. And I usually hate jocking bands right after I experience them but holy shit I'm listening to their Jokes LP right now and it is fucking ill. It goes fast and loud then cools the vibe down for a bit and then builds it right back up. So down.


That's all I feel like sharing today. Now it's off to the grinder.

Friday, August 28, 2009

JGL, will you be my best friend?

So, I just woke up from the most ridiculous nap after having a decent drunk and I don't know why, but it's just around eight in the morning and I'm wide the fuck awake and full of energy. And naturally the first (eighth) thought of things to do is make one of these. And today's honoree is none other than the amazing, incredible, handsome-as-fuck man known as:

(I made this in five minutes. Shut up.)

He is basically one of the best younger actors around right now. If you haven't heard of him you must live in a conch or you don't have cable, the internet or eyes. He has two movies in theatres right now. One is big and loud and the other looks like it is going to be amazing but my town isn't priveleged enough so it isn't playing anywhere here... Digress. Those two movies are G.I. Joe and 500 Days (of Summer). (I was going to put IMDB links up but since you already know that site, go there yourself. Also, can you start a sentence with parentheses right after finishing a sentence with parentheses? Can you have punctuation in parentheses? Fuck it.).

I first watched Joseph Gordon-Levitt (hereon known as JGL) on a little show you might know called 3rd Rock From the Sun. Most people I ask have seen the show but only then do they remember JGL and all his pubescent glory. He played the kid. By the way, JGL has been (according to his IMDB profile) in 'the biz' since he was eight. And he isn't a coke snob or asking millions of dollars for shitty roles.

I have no idea what this picture is from but it is so badass.

Every time I get a hankering, a wankering, a spankering for a really good actor in maybe a mediocre film (or sometimes an amazing one. See "Get Cultured" list at the side.), I think of this man. I'm not one for idol worship, but I may have what some people call a 'man crush.' He is just too cool. Just look at that jacket in the above picture, and the political t-shirt. He is just too bad ass to give a shit if some asshole redneck stops watching his movies (How did that happen at all?) because JGL rides the political right.

Have you seen 10 Things I Hate About You? Yeah, I thought so. Then you have seen JGL as a bumbling, sweet, innocent kid. I just re-watched that one for the first time in about nine years and I have to say, except for the (shitty) girl-rock it is still so applicable.

Who could say no to this man? Of course she's with him.

Essentially, JGL makes me want to pack a bag and move to the big city of scumbag L.A. where my crooked teeth will never land me a job but at least I tried, right? I really just want to be friends with him and go out for a night on the town. (That link is to his site, where there are a bunch of videos and a forum and such. Check it out.).

Oh, yeah, and he got to cozy up next to Zooey Deschanel. How jealous am I?

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Saturday night I went to the cinema to see the new Tarantino film. It was sweet, but I don't write film reviews so I'll get to the point. Any fashionista aspiring for that crucial historical look should watch this movie.

Mélanie Laurent

Look at her. She knows what's up for a Jew-in-hiding. And the smoke? Pure nihilistic appeal. Her face says "Fuck this Nazi regime shit" and I'm so down with that. I tried to find a full shot of that outfit but I couldn't so forgive me because I know you want to know what her shoes are like but I'm going to guess they're something like this: I don't know shit about historical womens' shoes.

On a sidenote, have a go at these tasty fuckers I just found while looking for womens' shoes from 1940s Paris:
Pierre Hardy Fall '09